Moving out isn’t easy. It takes preparation, prayer, patience, and a courteous attitude. Ironically, living with your parents requires much of the same.
Nevertheless, we all reach a point in our adult lives where we ask, “Should I move out of my parents house?” How do I know this is the right time to move out? How much should I save before renting your own apartment or owning a home?
These questions as well as the others below, will help you form a response to the bigger questions of when and how when it comes to moving out of your parents’ house.
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Should I Move out of my Parents’ House?
There is no perfect time or specific age where everyone should move out of their parents’ home. It depends on many factors, such as jobs, family dynamics, your mental health, your financial situation, other debt (such as credit card and student loan debt), and timing.
While there’s no cookie-cutter answer, there are some ways to know it may be time to move out and move on. Here, we’ve collected 10 Q&As segments to common questions around the bigger question of “should I move out of my parents’ house.”
1. Is it time to move out of my parents’ house?
Remember that adulting is not a once-size-fits all. It’s not comparing yourself to what others young adults are doing. Or what social media shows you that they are doing.
You need to decide that it’s time to move out on your own.
But what factors are at play when you’re considering whether to stay in the family home? Is it time to take that first step into a first apartment or first home?
Here are 6 common signs it’s time to move out of your parent’s house.
- You spend a lot of time driving or commuting.
- It’s as though your life has moved into another part of the city, and you’re in the car all the time. This could be because your work has tripled your commute, or your social life is moving elsewhere.
- You’re often fighting with your parents nd feel you need your own space.
- It may feel like there are too many cooks in the kitchen when you’re at home. While you appreciate their help, you aren’t seeking their commentary on everything.
- You’re outgrowing the space you’re in.
- It’s hard to sleep, eat, and work in your childhood bedroom. Strangely the family nest, which used to be your comfort zone, isn’t so comfortable anymore.
- The space you’re in is not conducive to your work.
- Perhaps there are younger siblings often running around or loud traffic outside when you’re trying to take a conference call.
- You’re getting frustrated with your parents and how they do things. It’d be nice to make your own decisions about how the house runs.
- You appreciate more and more the phrase “distance makes the heart grow fonder.”
- You love your family, but you’re ready to make the big move to a more independent life. You’ll still love and appreciate them when you do visit and from afar.
2. How do you tell your parents you want to move out?
As an adult, it’s important to handle your decision to move out with tact, kindness, and maturity. For example, communicate clearly with your parents. Be honest and kind.
You don’t have to tell your parents all the reasons why you’re leaving, but you can show them respect by telling them something.
In some situations, it may be best to tell your parents once your plans are already in place. On the other hand, your parents may feel like you blindsided them if you don’t mention anything sooner.
Pray to God for wisdom about when the best time to tell your parents is. Also pray God would prepare you for the conversation.
For how to tell your parents you want to move out, here’s an example of what you can say.
“Mom. Dad. I have some news to share. I’m so appreciative of you guys letting me live with you [after college / after coming back from abroad / as I get back on my own feet.]
“I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, and I’ve decided it’s time for me to move out. It’s not because of anything you’ve done. My life is changing, and I’m ready to be more independent, including living on my own.”
“I’m ready to begin the moving process and look for new place to live. I’m doing these things to get prepared for this newfound independence…”
The most important part of telling your parents that you want your own place is to have a conversation instead of making your choice a declaration.
Be open to questions, and ready with answers about how you’re going to support yourself, what areas you’re looking at for a new apartment or new home, and/or who you’re going to live with.
3. How much money should you save before moving out
Moving out of your parents’ house requires waiting for the right time. Before moving out of your parents’ house, you need have financial independence and have an emergency fund in your savings account.
Fresh out of college, I didn’t have much savings. But I knew it wasn’t wise to jump into an expensive apartment without having money for emergencies. What if I moved and the next week my car needed repairs? Or I had to pay for surprise medical expenses?
The recommendation from Dave Ramsey, one of my recommended financial resources , is to start by saving at least $1,000 and earmark the money for an unexpected expense. Emergencies only.
After that, your next savings goal should be between 3-4 months of your monthly incomes or 6 months’ worth of expenses. It doesn’t matter which way you choose to measure this savings goal as the amounts should come out about the same.
This larger emergency fund is important to have for hard times, like losing your job for several months or needing to step back from work to care for an aging relative.
4. Is 5000 enough to move out?
Maybe. There is no hard and fast rule to how much you should save before moving out of your parents’ house.
If your new job is across the country from where your parents live, then you may need to move immediately and not have the opportunity to save 6 months of expenses.
That’s okay. You can put off spending and start saving for your emergency fund once you’ve moved.
Other circumstances may require you to move earlier or later than anticipated. For example, some of my friends wanted to move straight into a house when they moved out of their parents’ home. So, they needed to save a 5-10% down payment in addition to an emergency before moving out.
Another factor is the cost of living where you are moving. More congested cities like San Francisco, New York, or Boston have higher rent prices. So, you may need to save more upfront to build an emergency fund than if you went to Charlotte or St. Louis.
Instead of picking a certain number of what you should save, make sure to plan for these expenses and emergency savings by making a budget.
You’ll lose money if you move out and have to move back in a couple months later because of poor planning.
Here are possible expenses for moving into your own space. This does not include your basic monthly expenses (groceries, gas, car insurance, etc.), which should be in your budget.
- For Apartment Living
- Security Deposit
- First Month’s Rent (usually paid in advance)
- Background Check Fees
- Application Fees
- Pet Fees
- Monthly Rent
- Monthly Amenity Fees
- Monthly Utility Costs, including internet, cable, water, sewer, trash, electricity.
- Moving expenses
- For Buying a House
- Loan Application Fees
- Loan Origination Fees
- Closing Costs
- Appraisal Fees
- Inspection Fees
- Down Payment
- Attorney Fees
- Other loan fees and closing costs
- Moving expenses
- Mortgage Monthly Payment
- Home Insurance
- Property Taxes
- Emergency Fund Savings
- $1,000 dollars to start, and
- 3-4 months of monthly income, or
- 6 months of monthly expenses
5. How much does it cost to move out of your parents’ house?
Another facet to consider financially when considering moving out of your parents’ house is the cost of moving and furnishing your new living space.
You’ll want to budget for these items:
- Hiring Movers – cost depends on amount of stuff being moved and distance
- Or Renting a Truck and bribing your friends and family with food to help you move
- Apartment Fees and Deposits (see list above)
- Housing Costs, Down Payment, Fees (see list above)
- Furniture: living room, bedroom, office, kitchen, bathroom, closet
- See this first apartment checklist for a list of items suggested for moving out.
- Houseware: for example, plates, cups, sheets, pillows, etc.
- Taking time off of work to move – For instance, if you’re an hourly employee or don’t have vacation time. This is a part of the cost of moving.
Overall, moving is not cheap. So, it’s important to prepare for these expenses and be patient as you’re saving. Having a moving plan will cut down on your expenses as you’ll be able to book things in advance and avoid change fees.
Tip: For furniture and houseware, you can get any essentials immediately and then buy other items over time as you keep earning money.
6. How do I deal with anxiety about moving out of my parents’ house?
Despite what’s been presented in the first 5 questions, moving out of your parents house isn’t as simple as making a moving plan and hitting go. There is an emotional aspect, too.
They’re your parents. You don’t want to hurt their feelings. On the other hand, you may also feel scared about going to live on your own.
How do you deal with all of these mixed emotions around moving out of parents’ house?
Anxiety about moving out of my parents’ home came from 3 things: 1) Fear of the unknown, 2) taking on more responsibility, and 3) doing something new.
In response, I had to work through and sit with my emotions. So, I wrote pros and cons list. I talked it out with my friends and family. I prayed about it to God.
Lastly, I spent a lot of time preparing. Part of the anxiety I was feeling about moving out was rooted in fear that I wouldn’t have everything done or ready in time for my moving day.
Would I have enough money? Do I have time to get a moving truck? How do I set up an account with the utility companies?
As I began creating a moving plan, the fear settled. But by the time I moved into the new apartment, the anxiety wasn’t gone completely.
But I’ve learned that if I waited until all the fear was gone, then there are so many incredible things I never would have experienced. Even when we’re scared, sometimes we still have to move [out].
Preparing appropriately, seeking wise counsel, praying, and communicating to your parents throughout the process can ease your concerns and help you make wise decisions.
7. Why is moving out bittersweet?
In addition to the anxiety about moving out, there were a lot of other mixed feelings for me. The entire process of moving out of my parents’ home was bittersweet. I love my parents, and we had fun living together.
When I moved out, I wasn’t leaving out of anger or spite or necessity. I would miss my runs and bike rides with my dad, my snuggles with my sister’s puppy, and morning coffee with my mom.
But, my personal life had moved into the city, and it just felt natural to move there as well.
Similar to when I graduated college, moving out at that time just felt right. At graduation, I knew I had outgrown my years at the university, and it was time to move on.
8. Do parents get sad when you move out?
You may feel like your parents are pushing you out of the door. Even so, they may not know how they will feel until you’re gone. It may be weird for them not to have you around at first. They may feel sad, too.
Sometimes we forget that parents are people, too. Even though they make mistakes, they still deserve our respect and attention. That includes when we’re moving out.
It’s important to be courteous and kind as you make plans to move out. Communicate your plans clearly to your parents, so there is no room for misunderstandings or hurt feelings.
9. What things should I do before moving out?
As you prepare for the moving out process, here is a moving out of your parents house checklist to guide you. Depending on your situation, feel free to add or remove items from the checklist.
- Start Saving your emergency fund
- Make a Budget
- Work on and form basic adulting skills
- Choose an Apartment or Home. Save accordingly.
- Decide on your must-haves and preferences for a new place
- Research neighborhoods and decide where you want to live
- Find real estate agents and choose one in your area
- Go on house tours – stick to the budget
- Take a mortgage class, if first time homeowner
- Complete Closing Tasks
- Close on the House
- Make a moving plan
- Furnish the new place with a printable home / apartment checklist
- Move Out and Move In
- Reassess and adjust your budget
10. Is moving out of your parents’ house hard?
The first time I moved out of my parents’ house I was a freshman in college. Since then, I’ve learned two major lessons.
1) I definitely overpacked, and 2) living on my own has taught me a lot. It taught me basic life skills, the importance of hard work and good credit, and how nice I had it living with my parents. :]
I understand living at home with your parents isn’t a great experience for everyone. But either way, moving out will be hard.
Personally, I had to do a lot of prep work and be patient. In addition to saving up money, I researched and visited multiple apartment complexes and created a detailed budget.
It was tempting to rush into a lease or forgo researching a moving company so that my new life could begin ASAP. However, because I was patient, I had peace that I made the right decision and ended up in the best place for me at that time.
While moving out was a hard, bittersweet process, it also felt like a natural step in how to start adulting.
Hopefully this article will make moving out a bit easier for you, too! Now, you have many tools to answer the question: should I move out of my parents’ house?
How did you prepare to move out of your parents’ house?
Leave me a comment below!
Don’t miss this! More posts in the Living & Adulting Category:
- Ultimate Apartment Hunting Checklist
- Tips for Moving into your First Apartment
- How to Start Adulting: 10 Critical Habits to Master
- 20 Basic Adulting Things to Do to Prepare for Navigating Adulthood
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